CASE VIGNETTE

Family Members:
Subject of Referral – Benjie (age 4)
Subject of Referral – Tala (age 36)
Father – Paul (age 43)

Instructions to Standardized Client

The immigration experience from the Philippines to Canada was a long and very expensive process that got held up several times. You had to travel to get medicals re-done and your application was rejected because the paperwork was not complete. Although you are pleasant you often have a short temper and become angry if you perceive that people do not agree with your opinion.

Soon into the interview you report that four days ago while playing in their family room, your son threw a ball which knocked over a lamp and broke it. You were in another room at the time and came running to see what happened. When you realized that your son was the cause of the broken lamp you hit him on the side of the head. He lost his balance and fell on the glass, cutting his hands. You then ordered him to his room. An hour later, you went to his bedroom, washed the blood off his hands and put a bandage on them. You did not check to see if there was glass embedded in his hands and did not seek medical attention.

It is important Benjie obeys you and your husband. You have worked hard to have achieved your dream of coming to Canada and want your son to have a good future. Asian families are very hierarchical, and children are expected to defer to the parents, listen, and obey without question. Correcting Benjie’s behaviour is also a way to maintain your authority and control in the household. You strongly believe that this is the only way Benjie will learn to behave and that hitting Benjie will deter him from behaving aggressively with other children. You do not receive much parenting support because your husband works and is also studying to get his degree credentials recognized in Canada. Traditional Asian fathers are also more “hands off” in raising children.

Background

1. Demographic Information
   

   You have been working as a part-time nanny for one of the families you met at your son’s daycare. You have found it difficult to connect with the people within your neighbourhood and miss a lot of the aspects of your culture. You are overwhelmed with the process of getting the rest of your family into Canada and are starting to feel desperate to reunite with them. You talk to your mom and younger sister, Melissa, on Facetime every day before bed. Paul has been distant from you and Benjie since moving because he works long hours at a construction site while studying to have his degree credentials recognized in Canada as a medical lab technician. Benjie has noticed a shift in his parents’ behaviours and is unsure about all the changes that have taken place and what that really means for him and his family.

2. History of Presenting Problem
   

   You have been feeling alone as you have not been receiving any supports, from your husband, your family because they are in the Philippines, and from the community in general. You feel as if you hold the responsibility to ensure that everything is held to a certain standard. You and her husband had to leave most of your belongings back in the Philippines, including furniture, so the basement suite that you currently rent out is quite empty. You also have a strict budget, as you had to spend a lot of money to get situated within your new place. Additionally, Paul is very “hands off” in his style of parenting and expects Benjie to listen and obey him without question. You are more involved in the parenting of your son but are unsure of how to discipline Benjie without undermining yourself or your husband’s authority within your household.

3. Emotional State
   

   You are overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted. You feel alone and are unsure if you can handle all the responsibilities that have seemingly been placed on you. You also feel frustrated with Benjie’s behaviour and with yourself for the way you’ve been reacting towards him.

4. Verbal and Behavioural Scripts to be Used by Client
   
   Physical abuse concerns:

• “He cried and ran to his bedroom.”
• “It will teach him what it feels like when he’s aggressive with other children!”

Reporting to Child Protection Services:

• “What will happen to my son, to our family?”
• “How can you do this to us?”
• “Do you not see that we just want our son to behave?”
• “I am not abusing my son.”